Two Poems by Moudi Sbeity

Metamorphosis

I struggle with my M’s. So instead of saying movie,
I’ll say film, which gives off the wrong idea about
what I’m watching. B’s are difficult too. Sometimes
I’ll say I live north of Denver instead of Boulder, my
location a secret too precious to utter. P’s too, and
L’s, and N’s. Sometimes R’s and W’s. I never know
what letter is going to snag, so I get creative. Flip
through a thesaurus in my mind, compose a lyric
that points to what I want to say without actually
saying it. Keeps me inclined towards the poetic.
Like when I can’t say river, I’ll say a gushing stream
of snow, which a river also is. Writing sometimes
becomes the practice of putting pen to paper. Mother
is the woman who birthed me. They don’t always
come out this pretty. Once I said once a quarter
because I couldn’t say three months. Every so often
a new word or letter will hang on my tongue,
my mouth a chrysalis turning what once was a
wriggling hesitation into winged utterance,
some brief flash of beauty it never imagined it
could spit out.

*

Impossible to Stutter While Singing

Before we chiseled our tongues into
the world naming things, before language
was formed as separate syllables, before
words were given meaning, our ancestors
sung their feelings, let their untamed voice
run the wild limitless range. It was not
possible to stutter then, because it is
impossible to stutter while singing, when
in melodious flow, when our tongues are
free from the prison of category, and breath
is allowed to elongate with gaped wonder,
and sound is repeated as necessary emphasis,
and the silence which ensnares us is but the
awed block, our throats echoed channels,
uttering with vibrating glory the presence
of each other upon our trembling lips.

*

Moudi Sbeity is a Lebanese-American poet, author, and contemplative counselor. Born in Texas and raised in Lebanon, he moved to the United States at the age of eighteen as an evacuee following the 2006 July war. In Utah, Moudi founded and operated Laziz Kitchen, a Lebanese restaurant celebrated by the New York Times as “the future of queer dining.” Moudi was also a named plaintiff in Kitchen v. Herbert, the landmark case that brought marriage equality to Utah and the 10th circuit states in 2014. He is the author of the memoir Habibi Means Beloved, and the poetry collection Alhamdulillah Anyway. His poems have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Orison’s Best Spiritual Literature. Moudi’s work focuses on themes of justice and liberation through a spiritual framework of compassion, forgiveness, and awe. As a lifelong stutterer, he is passionate about writing and poetry as practices in fluency and self-expression. moudisbeity.com