At the Wheel
Painstakingly, I churn them out.
Duds.
Years I waited in anticipation
for Covid times to pass,
to recover from a broken wrist,
a second surgery,
for an opening in the pottery class.
Now I sit at my prescribed circle
cradling in my mind a battalion of terracotta
vases, jars, and mugs,
their glazings and embellishments not even
—yet—considered.
I imagine just the pure forms,
voluptuous, still-unactivated golems.
The geometry of roundness
immerses me.
Geometry was a subject I barely passed.
And so this goes.
Class after class,
my twisted mud abortions
line up on the recycling tray,
an array of lumpy untriumphal arches.
Only the teacher’s patient, pitying aid
allows me to finish a few misshapen pieces.
“At least you’ve learned something,”
a friend consoles.
“Yes—humility,” I reply.
Or more precisely humiliation.
It’s a hard, unnourishing bread to eat.
How I’d longed to cup the wet clay
in loving hands,
turn mere mud into a Something
useful and beautiful.
I’d be a goddess, no?
For of all artists, the potters
have most often been cast
as Creators with a Capital C,
as if Adam were not merely
formed from clay but
his matter coned up, coned down,
constructed on a turning wheel.
I can’t help wonder,
atheist though I am,
if that’s the problem
with our world
—nations at war,
greed, hatred, egotism unchecked,
Earth more abused than
the bricks of wet earth I ruin,
lives even more malformed
than my few paltry pots.
What if there’s indeed a god in charge
but one who never meant
to make us so imperfect,
who stutters and stumbles,
hands uncertain as mine?
My heart floods with compassion
for this inept creator
full of the best intentions
—and even for my five flawed pieces
which I can love enough
to fire and glaze,
hoping a blaze of color
will compensate for their deficiencies.
*
Sandi Leibowitz is the author of the poetry collections The Bone-Joiner, Eurydice Sings, and Ghost-Light. Her speculative poems have earned second- and third-place Dwarf Stars and nominations for the Rhysling, Elgin, Pushcart Prize, and Best of the Net awards. Her poems have appeared in Verse-Virtual, New York Quarterly, Mythic Delirium, Strange Horizons, and many other journals and anthologies. She lives in New York City, where she also sings, paints, and gardens.
