Orientation

During my first week as a sales associate
at the Kennedy Mall, the assistant manager,
a white woman in a tight black blouse,
told me in a low voice, I’m not racist,
but many of the customers who steal
from us are Black, so keep that in mind.
I was speechless. Behind me, lava lamps
glowed bright red, as if blood were oozing
in their cylindrical prisons. I was seventeen.
A closeted white boy from Iowa. My high school
teachers warned me about casual racism—how it
can come across as benign but is really evil.
I looked at my assistant manager as she hurried off
to ring up a customer, & I wondered whether
my co-worker was evil for saying such a thing.
I stood stock-still by the lava lamps, not knowing
whether to be offended, glancing at the luminous
blobs drooping again & again. I felt like that,
melting from the inside out, burning hot.

*

Jacob Butlett has an MFA in Creative Writing (Poetry) from Southern Illinois University, Carbondale. He teaches first-year composition at Minnesota State University, Mankato, and works as the Head Poetry Editor at Blue Earth Review. Jacob’s creative works have been published in many journals, including Colorado Review, The Hollins Critic, Crab Orchard Review, and Lunch Ticket. Jacob received an Honorable Mention for the Academy of American Poets Prize (Graduate Prize). He is the author of the poetry book Stars Burning Night’s Quiet Rhapsody (Kelsay Books, 2024).