Cynthia’s Gift
Sometimes, when the grains of my own private grief
sift through me like sand,
or I am saddened again by the loss of her, I remember
how she gifted me this purple glass
for no reason at all.
It has no use, she said—
won’t hold flowers, can’t pour wine—
yet it pools a lavender essence, mellow
and dusky by the end of the day, color of creeping violets
on their way to summer.
It mirrors itself in the window,
veined with shades of a Murano sunset—
tender on the eyes, bathed in an amethyst wash.
She was luminous that way, bright as the lip of an orchid,
elegant in dress and demeanor.
A lilac-perfumed aura wafted in her wake,
until she slowly faded from herself
and no longer knew my face or name, forgetting, too
what she had given me.
Just something beautiful to look at, she said.
That’s all.
*
Threshold
When I ask where she wants me to leave
her earthly remains, she won’t say, as if
naming a place will take her there sooner.
My mother won’t speak of unpleasantries,
such as the inconvenience of dying.
She won’t talk of hymns, prayers, or the afterlife
she’s bound to enter. Yet here she is,
wearing the weathered skin of a century,
hovering in the purgatory of half-life,
one foot wedged into the other side.
I could shake her ashes onto the beach
where she’ll blend into beige, becoming
the landscape itself. I could recycle her
to nurture a tree, leaving a greener planet.
An urn on the mantle, a crypt, a proper chiseled stone.
It doesn’t matter where she’s left—
she’ll come back. Not in the resurrection
of tulip bulbs proving spring,
but in the stubborn roots of dandelions
I can never yank out.
In her handwriting scrawled on a recipe—
the pie crust only she could make.
I’ll see her face reflected in the mirror, my features
softening into hers.
I can take her to the threshold, karma-kissed and letting go.
Then it’s up to her.
*
Junk to Treasure
Nobody looks at old slides anymore,
those little squares rotating on a Kodak carousel—
Grand Canyon to nameless bridge to yet another monument.
Now boutique shops repurpose them
into found art—lamps with a retro glow,
vintage Christmas ornaments next to the bell-bottoms
in a secondhand store. Junk to treasure.
I take a box from the closet shelf,
hold a slide to the light. Delphi in December—
sky a blue flamboyance over Mt. Parnassus.
Such a tiny image for an enormous place.
I am stepping off the bus from Athens,
knapsack full of books, sweater and apples.
I wonder now who snapped this memory,
then handed the camera back. That’s his shadow,
a dark blotch on the sidewalk,
just before he disappeared into the vortex
of his own epiphany.
Whatever I saw, wherever I stood—
crumbling columns at the ancient temple,
taverna, plaza, dusty paths pocked
with goat hooves—I wanted nothing more
than to hold those moments close, like a face
memorized by touch, one you think will never change.
Here she is, that girl I had forgotten,
arriving all over again.
Ready to become something new.
*
Connie Soper is a poet living and writing in Portland, Oregon. She likes to visit small towns, hike, and walk along Oregon’s public beaches. Many of her poems are inspired by these experiences as well as other travels, and have appeared in Ekphrastic Review, Catamaran, Cider Press Review, Sky Island Journal, ONE ART, and elsewhere. Her first full-length book of poetry, A Story Interrupted, was issued by Airlie Press in 2022.
