Three Poems by Justin Karcher

When Hope Cries Out, It’s Usually Contained in Something It Shouldn’t Be

like how today at work someone calls
and asks me if the hospital accepts
old wedding dresses, because her mom
recently passed and she found hers
in the attic. The dresses can be used
for stillborn babies. After my shift is over
I take a walk and find a crock pot
in the street. When I look inside
there are scratch-offs. I imagine a witch
trying to brew a potion that would make
the economy fall in love with my city.
I guess she gave up before it was finished.

*

On My Way to AA, a Pickup Truck Raced by Me With an Iranian Flag Waving Out the Window

During the meeting, I couldn’t pay attention.
I was thinking about what my friend said
at the bar this past weekend, that she makes
her son carry his passport at all times.
I shouldn’t even have been at a bar
but everywhere feels heavy these days.
The other night, I dreamt that our dictator
died from eating an entire nursing home.

*

The Melting Snow Revealed a Massive Pile of CDs Someone Had Dumped Near the Psychiatric Asylum

I stared at a Mighty Mighty Bosstones album
isolated from the rest. Cigarette butts had formed
a ring around it and I thought about rituals to summon
the dead. It’s tough when your remaining friends
stop including you. Later that night, right before
they closed, I was at Tim Hortons getting coffee
when the employee gave me a free donut. I was
on the verge of tears, but I knew he just didn’t want
the baked goods to go to waste.

*

Justin Karcher (Twitter: @justin_karcher, Bluesky: @justinkarcher.bsky.social) is a Best of the Net- and Pushcart-nominated poet and playwright from Buffalo, NY. He is the author of several books, including Tailgating at the Gates of Hell (Ghost City Press, 2015). Recent playwriting credits include The Birth of Santa (American Repertory Theater of WNY) and “The Buffalo Bills Need Our Help” (Alleyway Theatre). justinkarcherauthor.com

Reflection by Rebecca Rush

Reflection

Got excited at a light
because I thought the car next to me
was purple
but it was just mine
reflecting back.

Like falling for the first person
who smiles at you in rehab.

My ex husband used to say
that everyone gets gay on cocaine
but that was just an us thing.

All those decades
I’ve lost hiding.

Even here
in West Hollywood
where meet me at the gay bar
at the intersection of Santa Monica
and San Vicente
is not specific enough.

Came out with a whisper
just in time to be a crime.

Now that I might not
be able to marry?

I might want to.

Becoming doesn’t feel good–
why is it supposed to?

It’s like my AA friend Victor once said
when I was smoking weed
& going to meetings
resentful at Zoom squares
I’d never meet
including him.

“The problem is, you’re fabulous
and not everyone is.”

How can I be gay when men
are the only
people
who’ve ever been nice to me?

This didn’t matter
in my pothead space suit–
keeping those layers
between me
and everyone
–gave me permission
to secretly watch lesbian porn
and slam the laptop shut
shaking from shame
& relief.

One of the many times I quit cigarettes
I turned to my dog and said
“this is our new unsatisfied life.”

Only the most narrow perimeters
of change are possible and allowable

I stole that from a famous lesbian.

The first 90 days weed free:
Month one: zero sleep
Month two: only sleep
Month three: the most annoying person
you’ve ever met.

I made a list of ten things
I like about me
there are only two things on it.

An AA tattoo was the only thing
permanent

about my sobriety.

But at least I know
who I see in the mirror.

*

Rebecca Rush (she/they) is a queer, autigender writer and neurodivergent peer support coach from New England, currently residing in LA. Her work has been published in numerous journals and anthologies, including Surreal Confessional Anthology, Rock Salt Journal, and Arc Poetry Magazine. The Los Angeles Poetry Society recently featured them. They hold a B.A. in English Literature with a Concentration in Creative Writing from the University of Connecticut. She currently blogs at TheLoudestGirlintheCorner.Substack.com