When You Live Alone with a Chronic Illness by Derek Eugene Daniels

When You Live Alone with a Chronic Illness

Holidays are the worst. Nothing open, no one
to call if the dizziness worsens. I prefer weekdays
so I can leave the office door open or stay near

the copier, where I’m visible. Weekends –
it depends. I walk around the condo questioning
every time I feel like I’m teetering. No one around

to say this might be normal, maybe okay, perhaps a side effect
of the medicine. Late Friday, almost midnight. I can’t stop
vomiting. I call the nurse hotline, respond to her irrelevant

questions, my phone in one hand, the other clutching
my stomach, my face in the toilet. Would you like me
to just send a vehicle, sir? Her shift must be ending

soon. I make way downstairs to the lobby, inform
the desk attendant to watch for the EMS truck,
his legs sprawled over the counter, watching a portable

television. Two strong men in uniform find me, carry me gently
to the vehicle, the way my father used to hold me close
to his chest when I complained of a stomach ache. As I lie sideways

on the bench, they ask what I do for a living. That must really be
rewarding. After being admitted, I lay in bed, the thin curtain
separating me from coughs, sneezes, conversations I can’t help

but overhear. No one knows I’m here. I fight to stay awake
protecting my wallet this time. Discharged the next morning,
I wonder about my way home. When the nurse replies,

No, none of our service shuttles are available, I walk out alone
on a Saturday morning, crossing empty sidewalks and streets,
the clouds kind enough to hold back the rain.

*

Derek Eugene Daniels is a speech-language pathologist and an associate professor of Communication Sciences and Disorders (speech-language pathology) at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan. He is a member of Springfed Arts creative writing organization and regularly participates in creative writing workshops. Derek has been a finalist multiple times in the annual Springfed Arts Poetry Contest. His poems have appeared in Call+Response Journal. Derek is passionate about self-expression, intersectionality, and his work with marginalized communities. In 2023, Derek received the Professional of the Year Scholar and Service Award from the National Stuttering Association for his scholarly and community service contributions to the stuttering community. In 2025, he received the William T. Simpkins, Jr., Service Award from the National Black Association for Speech-Language and Hearing for his notable contributions to the organization. Derek enjoys country music, 80s music, 80s and 90s television shows, and handwritten notes.