Freedom Pantoum by Susan Vespoli

Freedom Pantoum

     “Why are you asking me all these questions?” she growls.
      “Because I’m your mother,” I say, “and I have feelings, too.”

When my daughter calls from the 7-11,
she asks me to order junk food online she can pick up from Jack-in-the-Box:
churros, cheesecake, French toast strips, chocolate milkshakes
and I inhale, exhale, and type in my Visa card numbers.

She asks me to buy her supplies from the Dollar Store
and I say, “what’s it like to live on the street?”
and I inhale, exhale, add, “why are you choosing this?”
while internally mantra-ing Al-Anon slogans.

“What it’s LIKE on the street?!” she spits, “I have friends
and freedom and don’t have to go to 10 bullshit meetings a day,”
and I internally mantra words I’ve heard at Al-Anon meetings
like LOVE means Let Others Voluntarily Evolve.

Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose,
I hear Janis Joplin singing in my head
and it’s hard to let loved ones voluntarily evolve,
so I try bless her, change me and I try the Serenity Prayer.

Janis Joplin was an addict, too: alcohol, heroin, died of an overdose.
“Where do you sleep; are you warm enough?” Her: “a blanket behind a bus stop,”
and I chant, bless her, change me, and I breathe in the Serenity Prayer
every time my daughter calls (or doesn’t call) from the 7-11.

*

Susan Vespoli is a poet from Phoenix, AZ. Her poems have appeared in ONE ART, Anti-Heroin Chic, New Verse News, Rattle, and other cool spots. Susan is the author of three poetry collections and leads Wild-Writing circles on 27Powers.org and writers.com. Susan Vespoli – Author, Poet