Talking to Fake Keith Richards on Facebook Messenger
First off, he called me Pretty Face, which most of us,
even grown women with PhD’s and adult acne (neither
of which I have, by the way) want to hear. I mean, I
knew it wasn’t him and possibly even a teenage girl
in Russia or China, but I went along with it because
I liked imagining that I, out of millions of slavering
Stones fans, somehow got Keith Richards’ attention
on social media, so much so that he (sticking to male
pronouns) wanted me to switch to a more private app,
which was a red flag, for sure, and I wasn’t about to
do it. Still, he kept the ruse going, often addressing me
as Dear like an elderly lady chatting with her favorite
nephew—not as enticing as Pretty Face, I have to say.
If I were his partner in conning women on the internet,
I’d tell him to drop the Dear and keep going with the
Pretty Face stuff or similar words of seduction. I spent
maybe ten minutes on this exchange, enough to know
it was a real person, at least, who asked questions like
Why did you become a poet? and not the numbers of
my bank account or my favorite position, and I don’t
mean politically. It ended with him saying he couldn’t
take a chance on talking to people with fake profiles
which is why he wanted to shift to a more confidential
way to communicate. So, I said Thanks for making such
great music as if he were Keith Richards and not some
unreasonable facsimile and signed off, at which point
he disappeared like a stone tossed into a river—on to
a more vulnerable mark, I guess. Then my handsome
ex-rockstar husband, a drummer (to whom a fan once
asked, between sets, to squeeze sweat from his t-shirt
into a jar) and I went to bed sort of laughing about the
whole fake Keith Richards episode. But we were sad,
too, for other pretty faces out there who would fall for
it because even I, who knew better, wanted to believe.
*
Dish Towel
One of my parents’ dish towels
hangs on the handle of our stove.
It is aqua-blue, covered with red
and yellow poppies. How many of
their dishes this towel must have
buffed, plus silverware, glasses,
cookpots and pans. For decades
Mom washed them and Dad did
the drying. But after he died, she
stood alone at their sink, letting
the water grow cold—soap suds
like glaciers slipping into the sea.
Six months a widow and she, too,
was gone, leaving a lone bowl in
the drainer, a single spoon, a fresh
dish towel draped just so on a ring.
*
Terri Kirby Erickson is the author of seven full-length collections of poetry, including her latest collection, Night Talks: New & Selected Poems (Press 53), which was a finalist for poetry in the International Book Awards. Her work has appeared in a wide variety of literary journals, anthologies, magazines, and newspapers, including “American Life in Poetry,” Asheville Poetry Review, Atlanta Review, JAMA, Poetry Foundation, Rattle, Sport Literate, The SUN, The Writer’s Almanac, Valparaiso Poetry Review, Verse Daily, and many more. Among her numerous awards are the Joy Harjo Poetry Prize, Nautilus Silver Book Award, Tennessee Williams Poetry Prize, and the Annals of Internal Medicine Poetry Prize. She lives in North Carolina.
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