twin 2
— inspired by Scott Ferry’s poem “twin”
messy hair / disheveled appearance / i was the child
quick to enter the day in her big brother’s plaid shirt /
visibly / i was a tomboy / a girl who expressed
herself as herself / nothing more / nor less / i was
the anomaly who manifested the union of twoness /
the duality of spirit / i didn’t notice difference /
played with dolls and trucks / race cars / too / drew
flowers and insects / mermaids and worms / made
mud pies and went fishing with Dad / i recall
my budding femininity as an embarrassment /
wore tight t-shirts beneath my dresses to flatten
the bloom / i remember waiting for the school bus /
how the boys ridiculed my figure / i longed to fit in
everywhere / with everyone / never saw myself
as anything but myself / i was naïve to sexuality /
unaffected by attraction / i just wanted to express
myself as myself / to learn about the world / observe
its wondrous beauty / when you’re groomed to be
attractive you become something else / a decorated
double / a contrived form of self / i was credulous
to the cues / the fleshly signals of intent / regardless /
my current was consistent / never wavered /
remained straight / oblivious to a colleague /
a woman half my age / unmoved by her advances /
her ardent aims weren’t mine / when you’re
pushed to be pretty / nothing more / nor less /
you’re stigmatized / infantilized / objectified /
at best / messy hair / disheveled appearance /
i was the child quick to enter the day in her big
brother’s plaid shirt / perhaps / i wished to be him /
i’m the union of two spirits / where fem meets masculine
*
Jeannie E. Roberts has authored eight books, six poetry collections and two illustrated children’s books. Her most recent collection is titled The Ethereal Effect – A Collection of Villanelles (Kelsay Books, 2022). She serves as a poetry editor for the online literary magazine Halfway Down the Stairs.
