Loneliness
When you grow up on a farm, the farm
never leaves you, the handle of a bucket
heavy in your palms, the dipper’s metal
cool on your lips, the pitchfork’s lug
& heave, corn tossed row by row into
muscled memory’s ache. Even hay-
stacks sweated the morning dew.
Dirt caked hands, overalls, boots.
Sitting was lazy man’s work. Even
in retirement, you made reading
a task, your tongue-dampened thumb
paging through the news still fresh
at sunrise, your favorite time even
in frost, its hard grass crunch, barn door
creaking open the enclosed smells
of animals, their nicker & snort
made large in the quiet, you & the mule
smoking winter’s breath. Before hunger
made fast the hard work of chores, you
hungered for more. What was I then but
a vague wish, a witness only of
what came after, after you left.
*
Jane C. Miller’s poetry has appeared in numerous journals. A winner of the Naugatuck River Review Narrative Poetry Contest and two state fellowships, she is author of the debut collection Canticle for Remnant Days (2024) and co-author of Walking the Sunken Boards (2019), both published by Pond Road Press. She coedits the online poetry journal, ൪uartet. www.janecmiller.com.
