First Date

It was just a first date–
two nervous strangers meeting for the first time.
The place was full, I think,
but I can’t clearly remember
‘cause I couldn’t take my gaze off of you.
And I don’t know exactly what drew me into you.
Perhaps the singsong of your country accent,
or your stories and mischievous smile,
or your blunt sincerity, almost as if
you couldn’t stop the truth from shooting
out of your mouth.
We didn’t eat much
–you had a beer, I munched on sweet potato fries–
and we left
to saunter under the stars on a calm and unusually pleasant
early November night.
We chatted lively,
like two people who had a lot to share
and even more to learn from each other.
You asked, “What do you miss most about
not being single?”
I thought for a brief moment because I had a long list,
but I only said, “I miss the company. Watching TV with someone.”
You smiled like you knew I was keeping some things to myself.
“And you?”
“I miss waiting,” you said.
“Outside the mall, while she’s out shopping.
Just sitting down, and waiting.”
And time went by unhurriedly,
and there was much more to say, but it was late.
We strolled toward our cars and you held my hand–
my heart pumped faster but you didn’t notice.
You showed me your truck while you told me
more work stories.
Then you walked me to my car
and as I searched for my keys
–I really didn’t want to leave–,
you bent down, and pressed
your lips on mine.
And I didn’t care about passersby, or the time,
or that I never kiss on the first date,
because I wanted your lips too.

When we talked the next day
I could feel you smiling even without seeing you
or perhaps it was me who beamed for both of us.
And there was that awkward moment
when you don’t know what the other person is thinking
or if anything each of us felt was reciprocated.
But you dared and said, “I wanted you to kiss me on my truck.”
A wave of desire engulfed my skin.
“I wanted you to kiss me longer,” I said.

And at that moment,
I knew that I had known you for a long time.

*

Mariana Llanos is a Peruvian born writer and poet. Her poetry has been included in independent journals and in Poetry Magazine Young People’s Edition. She is a recipient of a Pura Belpré Honor for her children´s book Benita y las criaturas nocturnas. She lives in Oklahoma.