Probably by Tony Gloeggler

Probably

Probably a good thing
I never had kids. Good
for them too. Besides
being uncertain whether
I’m capable of unconditional
love beyond tiny bursts
of time, if two or three
popped out, I doubt
I could keep a straight
face, like all parents do,
when saying I love them
all the same. I’d be more
like Dick Clark standing
in front of that Bandstand
chart, revealing the week’s
top ten hits with a bullet or two,
shooting for the stars. Could
I ever forget which kid’s nice
and quiet, funnier, smarter,
more comfortable in her own
skin? Which one will care for me
when I’m old, smelly and dying
too slow? While that other one
sucks at sports, is too naïve, likes
Mom better, has unforgivable
taste in music and is so damn
annoying it would be impossible
not to give him a good smack
like my father did to me
when I probably deserved it.

*

Tony Gloeggler is a life-long resident of NYC who managed group homes for the mentally challenged for over 40 years. Poems have appeared in Rattle, New Ohio Review, Vox Populi, The Raleigh Review, Chiron Review. His collection, What Kind Of Man with NYQ Books, was a finalist for the 2021 Paterson Poetry Prize and his new book Here On Earth came out 1/26 on NYQ Books.