Choosing the Sorrow
In my heart today, a river of love for you—
sparkling, clear, easy to wade in.
Some may not understand
why I sometimes reach down
to pick up a smooth stone of sorrow,
not because I have stumbled on it,
but because I want to know its weight again.
I search beneath the glossy currents,
and always I find what I seek.
There are thousands of such stones,
enough to cover the whole river bed.
Every one of them precious.
Every one of them, a memory
of how it was to love you when you were alive.
Stone of you waking in your crib, pointing to light.
Stone of you doing tricks on your bike.
Stone of hiking up cliffs. Stone of undone dishes.
Stone of your eyes. Stone of long fingers.
Stone of you whistling across the room.
The river of love is no less powerful
for all this sorrow. When I am still,
often I choose to go wading here.
I notice how beautiful they are, all these stones,
worn as they are by the currents of love.
I notice how the current never stops.
*
Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer is poet laureate for Evermore. She co-hosts the Emerging Form podcast. Her daily audio series, The Poetic Path, is on the Ritual app. Her poems have appeared on A Prairie Home Companion, PBS News Hour, O Magazine, American Life in Poetry, and Carnegie Hall stage. Her new collection is All the Honey. One-word mantra: Adjust.
So moving. Thank you for this piece!
Thank you, Ellen. ❤️❤️
Thank you Rosemerry for the tender beauty, insight and grace of this poem—as always.
And thank you Mark and Louisa for sharing it with your One Art community.
Gratefully,
Gloria
Thank you, dear Gloria–oh friend. I am so ever grateful for you. ❤️
You draw up from the depths of your well…and so graciously share it with us. ♡♡♡
Thank you, Lisa–as always I am so grateful to be in the well together with you!
Words fail me, Rosemerry – so just thank you, and 💖💖.
From Frances
Beautiful friend, thank you. Wishing you deep peace 💖
Words fail me, Rosemerry, so just💟.
💖💖
I have reread this poem a few times!! What resonates today “when I am STILL to the end…. key for me is the stillness and I suppose the accompanying silence!! It seems we are aware so hear,feel more!! timely reminder!!
joanne
I think you’re so right–the stillness is key–though perhaps sometimes as our friend Mabeth says, it its stillness in motion (inner stillness, body in motion) … hello paradox!
I’ve been wading in this river myself, and the more I look the more stones I see. The writing into loss workshop last evening opened more rooms for me to wander in, more beautiful stones to hold. Thank you.
The more I look, the more stones I see … ahhh, thank you, friend, for this simple beautiful truth of it. Thank you for joining me last night in the workshop. Wishing you love.
So true…an important reminder! Thank you!
Wading in that river with you, beloved Rosemerry. Every stone a part of the whole riverbed. 🩵
I fear I would drown. Awed by your supple bravery.
So very powerful Rosemerry. The love never stops, and absence is so much presence.
thank you for this!